Updated: Oct 12, 2021
There's something I want to tell you.
On Australia Day I watched Grace Tame’s acceptance speech as Australian of the Year and I was overcome. I was in awe of her courage. Grace was sexually abused as a teenager, the perpetrator was convicted, but the the law in Tasmania stopped Grace (but not her perpetrator) from talking publicly about her experience. The law made her trauma “invisible”. However Grace used her experience to help others by becoming a driving force behind #letherspeak and changing the law to allow the victims of abuse to publicly tell their story. Through her courage, resilience and persistence, Grace made the trauma of child sexual abuse visible.
In my own way, I can truly empathise with Grace’s feelings of invisibility. Here is my story…
I was married for 24 years. Prior to my separation, I was a loving and loved father. I also did my fair share of parenting, nappy changing, bathing, feeding, soothing, teaching, pick up, drop offs etc - on top of holding down a full time and often stressful job.
However, my divorce was horrible. I learnt that it doesn’t always take two to fight. I learnt that there are good lawyers and bad lawyers (including some who willingly aid abusers to hurt others, including children). I learned that the court system is so overwhelmed that it has become outdated in its thinking and inadequate in its support of families and children. I learnt that the divorce process can be so emotionally overwhelming that you can make rushed and unwise decisions, just to stop the pain. I learned that poor decisions, made under extreme stress, can have long lasting and devasting consequences. I learned that mistakes made during divorce, are almost impossible to fix later.
My invisible divorce trauma is that I no longer see my children.
However, invisible divorce trauma is not limited to poor parenting outcomes. It can equally apply to poor or inequitable financial decisions made under duress that have long term consequences and cannot be undone.
Whilst I am no Grace Tame, I am using my experience to help others. I now focus my energy and 25 years of experience in finance to help people through the emotionally difficult, confusing and often financially high risk process of divorce. My aim is help people make better decisions and reduce the number invisible victims of divorce.
If you are in the throes of a divorce or feel as if it might be on the cards I would really love to be a support for you throughout that process - both as someone who understands the pressure and the vulnerability involved, but also as someone with 25 years of wealth management experience, who can ensure you are making informed and sensible decisions and negotiations for your financial future.
The role of your wealth adviser is to:
✅ Address short term cashflow needs
✅ Assist with asset valuations and assessment of finances following financial disclosure
✅ Evaluate your insurance and outcomes for super splitting
✅ Provide detailed forecasting for settlement options
✅ Advise on the need for establishment of entities such as family trusts
✅ Prioritise your financial objectives for negotiation and set realistic targets
✅ Develop a list of financial goals for post settlement
✅ Tailor and implement an investment portfolio that delivers your required income and capital growth
Please message me if I can help with any of the above.
Email me here or call me on 0402 878 810